Sometimes, it can feel a bit like everything is going wrong at once. These might be small things that accumulate and become a bit overwhelming, or one big thing that we’re finding tough (financial trouble, divorce, loss of a loved one, serious illness or something equally as painful).
When this happens, it is very easy to slip out of good habits and away from the things that can actually help us feel better during difficult times in our lives. But actually, it is really important that we look after ourselves and prioritise our wellbeing when we are being tested by life’s challenges.
Yoga is one of those things that can really help us to manage any tricky situation we might find ourselves in - and remember, these challenging times are all part of our journey towards learning, development and growth.
Sometimes, the greater the difficulty, the greater the opportunity to evolve!
Here are some of the ways in which yoga can help us when we’re going through testing times:
1. Our yoga practice teaches us to be OK with a certain level of discomfort.
When we’re holding that dolphin or warrior 3 pose, we learn to breathe and relax into it as much as we can. We can then take this off the mat and learn to take some deep breaths and relax when something is sent to challenge us.
2. Yoga will help us to realise that we are stronger than we think.
Have you ever looked at your yoga teacher or someone next to you in class effortlessly striking a pose, and thought, “I will never be able to do that?” ...only to find that after one or two tries you realise that you can actually do it! Of course, there are some poses that are just not accessible to everyone, but the realisation that more often than not it is the mind holding us back is very powerful.
3. Yoga will get us to emphasise the positive.
We always practice gratitude in yoga. No matter what is happening in our lives, we can be thankful for being healthy and alive, and able to roll out our yoga mat and show up - even if that’s all we can manage that day. It will also help us to get out of our heads and into our bodies, therefore taking our minds off our problems for at least the time we are moving and breathing through our practice.
4. One of the central components of our yoga practice is to realise that everything is temporary.
The poses are temporary, pain and sadness are temporary, as are happiness and joy. Life itself is temporary. Yoga teaches us that life keeps moving no matter what. Dwelling on how we wish things were different only inhibits us from enjoying the present moment.
5. Yoga reminds us that suffering is actually created in the mind.
While we may not be in control of the things that are happening around us, we do choose how we react to those things. We can choose to get upset when our teacher asks us to hold that nemesis pose for five more breaths, or we can enjoy the feeling of our feet on the ground and the air on our skin, until she calls out the next pose. Life is exactly the same way.
This last one is particularly interesting.
You might be thinking, “No! I have not created this suffering. What is happening to me is actually really cr*p in and of itself!” and that is perfectly normal and totally OK. When you experience something that is painful, it really is that way. You feel it in your body as a sensation, so of course it seems very real.
But we can look a bit more closely at this when we consider one of the noble truths of Buddhism: “life is suffering”. This doesn’t mean that life is only suffering – there are, of course, many beautiful aspects to life – it just means that no one can live their life without facing some amount of suffering.
You can suffer mentally and/or physically.
But it is the mind that creates its own story around it.
Some people are sick, but happy!
It helps to use the analogy of comparing the mind with a garden when we think about going through testing times in our lives.
1. Firstly, you simply be with the garden.
You observe what is going on, and the state the garden is in. You don’t do anything about it, you just take stock. So when we are in a state of suffering, we just witness it, if possible with a quality of acceptance, without trying to change it. Simply be with what is. This willingness to just be with the garden and your suffering, will give you insight into what needs to be done to make the garden healthier/the situation better.
2. Secondly, you start pulling weeds!
Here, you try to gently and appropriately reduce the negative. Those nasty little weeds that come in and try to suffocate everything else! You consciously let emotions flow, and you inquire into your pain. You see what (old) beliefs are in your way, and you begin to let them go. It might be that you need the help of someone else (a professional) to hold the space while letting go of old ‘stuff’ - to help you pull those weeds in a safe and effective way, so that there is a solid and healthy foundation for healing to begin.
3. Now, you can plant the flowers.
This is where you start to increase the positive. You begin to cultivate wholesome qualities of mind and heart, and take in the good. Letting positive experiences sink in changes the chemistry of the brain. You can work with painful memories or situations and reframe them - changing the feelings and emotions surrounding them. You can practise yoga to enable you to develop your strength, openness and relaxation - to nourish you with support and healing. Go for a walk in nature and let it fill you with beauty. Find inspiring people to spend time with, read inspiring books, and let wisdom in. Flood yourself with love, comfort, warmth and pleasure.
This 3-step process can help us to work with the mind to move beyond it, giving us the tools to manage testing times with more connection and calm.
I’ll leave you here with this song lyric from Bring Me The Horizon’s “Mantra” as I found it sums things up rather nicely:
“Before the truth will set you free, it'll piss you off!
Before you find a place to be, you're gonna lose the plot”
References: https://www.ekhartyoga.com/articles/practice/self-help-advice-for-difficult-times, https://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/balance/stress-balance/5-ways-yoga-helps-difficult-times/